


Bill & Ted's Country Romance

by nasamutual, sweetpeaches69



Category: Bill & Ted (Movies)
Genre: Country AU, M/M, set in napa valley
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 12:01:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15460932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nasamutual/pseuds/nasamutual, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetpeaches69/pseuds/sweetpeaches69
Summary: A lot of things weren’t fair in life: when your chips got stuck in the vending machine, and even a fist to the glass wouldn’t move them; when some asshole cut you off on the highway; when you got a pimple on your nose right before a class presentation.Nothing, though, was quite as unfair as being dragged from Los Angeles to Napa Valley in your senior year just because your stepmom has “always dreamed of owning a vineyard!”.Or, Bill's family moves to Napa Valley and he meets local farm boy Ted "Theodore" Logan.





	Bill & Ted's Country Romance

**Author's Note:**

> please check out our friend newt's rad art for this au 
> 
> https://ghostlygooberart.tumblr.com/post/176323703659
> 
> https://ghostlygooberart.tumblr.com/post/176325194929

Bill squirmed against the sticky, hot leather of the car’s backseat, the urge to kick Missy’s seat in front of him bubbling up from his stomach and into his lungs.

_A lot of things weren’t fair in life: when your chips got stuck in the vending machine, and even a fist to the glass wouldn’t move them; when some asshole cut you off on the highway; when you got a pimple on your nose right before a class presentation._

_N_ _othing, though, was quite as unfair as being dragged from Los Angeles to Napa Valley in your senior year just because your stepmom has “always dreamed of owning a vineyard!”._

Bill hadn’t actually seen the property yet, but if the lack of buildings and the endless rows of grapevines on either side of him were any indication, Napa Valley really wasn’t his scene. Missy wouldn’t stop gushing over everything: the trees, their future house, and the farm nearby. Even the sky was “bluer out here than in LA”.

Maybe Bill wasn’t the most popular guy in school, or the smartest, or the most handsome, but that didn’t mean he appreciated being torn away from his overall decent life in SoCal. Especially when his new home was in the middle of nowhere.

The curly-haired teen sighed and popped a gas station M&M into his mouth and tried to find a comfortable position, which was a near impossible feat when his butt was numb from a six-hour car ride. Missy shot him a glare from over her shoulder when he accidentally-on-purpose hit the back of her seat with his knee in an attempt to stop his ass from falling asleep further.

He was just about to apologize when the car drove off the highway and onto a dirt road, and he got distracted by the surrounding vineyard. The grapevines were a lot higher up close, and the rows upon rows of them were suddenly a bit daunting rather than boring, as they had been. He looked up the road to see a large house on top of a hill, complete with a pool, just like they’d had back in LA. How typical of Bill’s father, to not just buy a vineyard for his trophy wife, but to buy her a whole ass mansion as well. Maybe “mansion” was an exaggeration: still, it was typical. Not only that, but whenever Bill wanted something, it was ‘ _find a job_ ’ this and ‘ _I’m not a goddamn piggybank, Bill!_ ’ that.

As Bill was moping over the many injustices of his home life, the car had pulled up into the driveway of their new house. Reality began to set in hard, and Bill groaned; “Most non-non-heinous.”

“Honestly, Bill, it’s not as bad as you’re making it out to be. I would’ve killed to live on a farm when I was your age,” Missy piped up from the front seat. “Think of this as an adventure!”

“What’s so great about living in a field with no one your age around?” Bill complained, getting out of the car and stretching his legs.

“For your information, there’s a boy your age down the hill. Your father and I met him when we came to see this place the first time.” Missy got out of the car as well, shoving her sunglasses up onto her forehead as she looked around.

Bill crossed his arms, dedicated to rejecting everything she offered. “What, some country hick? We probably have nothing in common... I bet they don’t even get radio out here,” he kicked at the ground, scuffing up his less-than-pristine converse a little bit more.

Missy sighed. “Okay, Bill, why don’t you bring your suitcase inside, then maybe take a walk around? It’s actually quite beautiful here, when you quit being a grump.” Bill grumbled, but went around to pop open the trunk and grab his bags, making sure to shoot his father a dirty look throug

h the rear-view mirror. He dragged his feet as he walked up to the house, waiting for Missy to unlock the front door before stepping inside. He had to admit that it was a nice house. It was large, but the darker wood of the interior made it feel a bit more homey than it might’ve otherwise been. “Where’s my room gonna be?” He asked, still trying to take everything in.

Missy gestured to the door on the left side of the foyer and Bill headed in that direction, determined to find something in the house worth complaining about. Unfortunately, his room was nice as well, and the U-Haul dudes had already brought in his boxes for him. He sat down on his bare mattress and opened up a few of them, rifling through the unorganized tangles of crap until he found something more suitable for the heat to wear. They could take away his entire life but they couldn’t take away his crop tops.

Knowing that the only alternative was to start unpacking, he decided to take a walk around the area. He headed back out the front door and around the back of the house, finding a small gravel trail down the hill. The gravel crunched in a satisfying way under his feet, and he took in the scenery as he headed down the trail to what looked like a barn at the end of it. Missy and dad hadn’t mentioned a barn, or another building adjacent to said barn.

As Bill neared the buildings at the bottom of the hill, it became apparent that there was a lot more activity going on inside the barn than he had once thought. He could hear what sounded like horses whinnying and snorting through the thin red planks that made up the walls. Nobody had mentioned horses either. This was strange. Bill quickly made the impulsive decision to step inside the barn, without really thinking about it beforehand. It was large and indeed had horses. Many, in fact.

Bill was walking toward a large brown horse that was regarding him with gentle-looking eyes, when a tall figure stepped out from the shadows. Bill jumped in surprise, clutching his heart as it started to race. He relaxed when he realized it was a boy that looked to be around his age, with chin-length, dark brown hair and almond eyes.

“Hello?”

Bill cleared his throat. “Um, h-hey, cowboy,” He stuttered, coming across not quite as slick as he would have liked to.

The boy smiled widely and shook his head. “Sorry, who’re you, and why’re you calling me cowboy?”

Bill sputtered, trying and failing to make a smooth recovery.

Hot Boy tilted his head and laughed. “You must be the new neighbor. Howdy, I’m Ted.”

“I’m Bill. Uh, do you guys actually say ‘howdy’ out here? I was mostly joking.” Bill looked down at his suddenly mesmerizing sneakers.

“Bill, huh? Nice to meet you! And nah, I was just messing with you, dude. I might live in the middle of nowhere, but I’m not a hick.” Ted shrugged. “I’m pretty normal, I think.”

“Sorry, I’ve just never met anyone from the country before. I’m kind of a Hollywood dude. I’ve barely stepped out of Los Angeles before today.”

Ted’s warm, brown eyes lit up at Bill’s mention of Hollywood. “LA? Like where Van Halen is from? Holy shit! Have you ever met them?”

Bill grinned. So, the country boy had excellent music taste! “Dude, Van Halen is my favorite band! And, uh, no, unfortunately I’ve never had the pleasure of making their personal acquaintance, but I did see them live last year. It was excellent.”

The look Ted gave Bill could only be described as ‘pure awe’. “Dude!” He said loudly enough to startle a sleepy-looking horse all the way awake, “That’s totally stellar! What was it like?”

Bill leaned against one of the beams holding up the barn roof, recalling the concert he had attended last summer. “It was beyond words. The most non-non-non-heinous thing I’ve ever seen.”

Ted smiled and nodded his head. “Wish I could’ve gone. That does sound most excellent.”

Bill looked up at Ted. “Dude, there’s always time, I’m sure you’ll get to see them one day.”

“Yeah, but…” Ted shrugged. “I dunno, I don’t get out much. Not that it’s bad, I just don’t like leaving the farm.”

Bill bit his bottom lip and rocked onto the balls of his feet. “So there’s like, things to do for fun around here then? Because all I’ve seen is grapes.”

“Depends on your idea of fun.” Ted turned to one of his horses and pet its mane. “I think you have to be positive about it, though. Otherwise it’s kind of stupid to try to like it.”

“I’m totally positive, dude. And I’ve got nothing but time on my hands. So maybe you could, like, show me around sometime?” Bill pitched hopefully, shoving his hands into his pockets self-consciously.

Ted nodded. “You ever ridden a horse before, city boy?” He smiled again, and Bill felt his face flush.

“Only on a merry-go-round when I was eight. And I totally barfed. Does that count?”

“Absolutely not. Dude, never? That’s the first thing I’m gonna show you.” Ted rolled his eyes. “Only on a merry-go-round. You really are a city boy, huh?”

Bill noted that the burning he felt in his cheeks probably meant he was a tomato-ish color by now. And he couldn’t blame it on the sun while he was holed up in the cool, dark barn. “What- like, right now?”

“I wish, dude. But I gotta finish my chores.” Ted shrugged, his head tilting to the side in an almost comical manner. “Hey, come back tomorrow, though. I’ll teach you then?”

Bill nodded, mind already reeling with

all the things that could go heinously and/or triumphantly the next day. “Tomorrow. Okay. I’ll be here. It was most excellent meeting you, Ted.” “Most excellent meeting you, Bill!” Ted waved goodbye, smiling brightly.

Bill just about skipped home, a smile on his face that didn’t disappear, even through sleep.

Maybe country life wouldn’t be so bogus after all.

**Author's Note:**

> follow us on tumblr @ forensicks and nasamutual!


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